Redefining Balance for Modern Women in Motherhood

2020 — a new decade of new beginnings.

What does a meaningful and fulfilling balancing feel like to you? This year at Thryve, we will be focusing our attention on one key theme which I feel represents what many of us, as modern women, struggle with in many aspects of our daily lives. Introducing our 2020 theme —

THE BALANCING ACT.

We often think of the word ‘balance’ as something that is unrealistic - especially as parents, mothers, women. But what if the idea of balance didn’t feel so abstract or out of reach? What if it could be redefined —for you, for me?

As women, professionals, mothers, having a balanced life is what we all want and yearn for. We seek out ways to find nourishment within our busy lives and, all too often, this gets pushed aside because of life’s demands and we are in a state of overwhelm.

Some of us are driven to want it all and when we have the opportunity, we want to say ‘yes’ to everything. And why not? This is in the spirit of being human. Yet somehow, in our drive to have it all, we find ourselves exhausted, burnt out, and in fact, sometimes feel unhappy in failing to be who we want to be.

We need to find supportive solutions in creating more harmony in our lives for our sanity, without feeling like we are compromising too much. We need to begin to feel like it is ok to not say 'yes' to everything and everyone. We perhaps need to release the I can do-it-all-approach that many women tend to feel they need to move up the corporate ladder or start up a new innovative business or be the best mother we can be. We need to begin to become more intentional in motherhood, entrepreneurship and our wellness path rather than stretching ourselves too thin.

This feeling of wanting it all comes from the illusion of missing out. In her book, The Joy of Missing Out, Tanya Dalton states we don’t have to do a million things to be successful. In fact, in order for us to get real with our true purpose, we need to start living more intentionally. Something we at Thryve are fully aligned with and is part of our Six Pillars of redefining wellness.

The latter part of 2019, I decided to take a hiatus. My body was telling me it needed to heal. The busyness of entrepreneurship, motherhood and real day-to-day life was taking a toll on my mental, emotional and physical well-being. I wasn't serving myself, my children or any of my relationships the way I wanted to — including Thryve. While the break wasn’t a blissful retreat away from home (the realities of life, household duties and parenting was there day in and day out). This time away has made me come to realize there has to be a better way to do all of this and not get run down to the ground. I have to find a way to practice what I've been speaking about at Thrybe. Taking time out has led me to a shift in my thinking about moving forward. I will now be less apologetic, I will now let go of trying to be perfect and will now strive to become more conscious in everything that I do. Rather than the do-it-all-approach, I am adopting the simplification approach to everything that I do - especially motherhood. While I can't say for certain that I am 100% ready to be back in full force, I have set the foundation for what's to come at Thryve on an even deeper level than before - with clear intentions of providing inspiration, support and meaning to everything we do.

Being a woman and mother in 2020 brings us such great opportunities and we have access to so many resources. However, there is still so much more that needs to be done in acknowledging how much pressure we put on ourselves, putting everyone else’s needs before ours, how comparison creeps up and can numb us, and how quickly we burn out without even noticing - something I touched on last year in The Modern Motherhood Burnout blog post.

We all go through different seasons in our lives — some longer than others. This is where we have the opportunity to take a step back and see how we can best support ourselves and what this season in our life is teaching us. Sometimes figuring out how to find more balance or harmony can be a never-ending struggle and feel impossible to overcome. I’ve realized (very quickly) since having children that a ‘perfectly’ balanced life is not what we should be striving for here. It’s been through my own personal experience as a mother (with many trials and errors) that I feel ignited and inspired to dig a little deeper into exploring how we, as modern women, can find more balance and harmony in our busy lives. I want to examine each element of our physical, emotional, spiritual and emotional well-being.

I’m not saying that creating a more balanced life is easy to achieve. But what if we challenged ourselves to simplify motherhood? What if we took a step back and look deeper with ourselves and explore what would allow us to be even more intentional in our day-to-day lives without feeling like we are compromising anything.

finding balance

At Thryve, we believe in exploring how we can embrace our expanded identity and all of the changes, transformations, and emotions that come with it. We believe in nurturing the mother part of us through all of her seasons so she can feel in harmony with her well-being and truly be seen.

To start the conversation of ‘The Balancing Act’, we’ve listed 10 ways to create more harmony in motherhood

1. Simplify motherhood

Learning to create a life of less which in turn, creates more. This is not easy - especially in a society with so many demands. Finding ways to simplify, whether that is taking less on in a day, minimizing purchases of clothes or toys (when you can), putting your kids in fewer after school activities and instead, creating more moments of joy and stillness with each other or yourself.

2. Be open to making adjustments

We’ve all been there. We start getting into a great routine, we’re eating fairly well, getting the kids and ourselves to bed on time, making time for fitness - we’re in a good groove. And then the family gets sick. Everything you were doing before goes on pause and then the routine is all out of sorts. When we begin to learn to adjust and go with the flow more often (again, not always easy to do!) it can do wonders on feeling more in harmony within yourself and with your family.

3. Have more honest and open discussions

We need to continue to have more real conversations, whether they are with our partners, friends and with other moms (and dads) to help provide more context around the modern day burnout we feel as parents. We also need to continue to talk about the ‘invisible labour’ in households which primarily affects women.

4. Let go of perfection

As mothers, it can be so hard to let go and have others step in to take care of our children, especially in the early months as a new mom or in their early school years with school and activities. We want to be there for everything! We all need to learn to let go (just a little bit) and know the strong mother/baby bond will still be there, our kids won’t be upset if we aren’t there for every drop off or pick up. Because being there for everyone, every time (the mom guilt), isn’t going to help our own mental health, our own wellness. When we take care of ourselves, we are taking care of our family too.

5. Prioritize mental health

We need to look at ourselves first — how we can nurture our own well-being and find harmony through motherhood and beyond? When we stretch ourselves too thin, have mom guilt, feel overwhelmed - this all plays a role in wanting to be the perfect mom, wife or whatever you are trying to achieve. With postpartum depression & anxiety being such a prominent health concern for mothers, we need to notice how too much stress or lack of support and can affect our mental and emotional health.

6. Setting healthy boundaries — minimize the ‘hustle’ mindset

The hustle approach isn’t bad. There is a time and place for this if someone chooses this is the path they want to be on. As mothers, in particular working mothers, taking on the hustle mentality, trying to squeeze in every business engagement or networking event in order that we don’t miss out. Or working on projects late into the night (or very early mornings) when the kids are sleeping, could, in the long run, affect our health and well-being balance. Instead, let’s find ways to start taking on less in our day. When we know there will be many other demands, which we may not be able to filter out, we just need to set clearer boundaries and prioritize what is most important.

7. Find stillness in the daily chaos

We need to figure out how we can create more moments of stillness within the busyness and often chaos of parenthood. Finding new ways to be more mindful with what we are doing throughout the day - even with all of the constant stressors surrounding us.

8. Take more ‘digital detoxes’

We need to look at how we use the digital space, I’m seeing many people now taking digital detoxes, finding ways to take a pause or break from social media for reasons primarily because they want to be more present with their family and themselves.

9. Tune into your inner wisdom, your intuition

We need to listen to our inner voice more carefully as women, mothers, which will, in turn, provide us more simplicity. Whether this is through a spiritual practice, sitting alone for 5 min a day or journalling.

10. Find support within our global motherhood community

We realize some of these conversations we are having about finding more harmony are only conversations we are able to have living in a more privileged part of the world where we don’t face the horrifying struggles so many women face. While it has been something I have always been drawn to on a personal level, now that we are building a community, it is even more important to acknowledge the components of what Thryve stands for. We want to provide support for women from other cultures and in other parts of the world, where women’s rights aren’t necessarily as prominent, for women who may not have a strong support system, or are single mothers working multiple jobs just to survive. Our intention has always been inclusive and we will continue to do this through our deeper purpose with the work we do at Thryve.

What’s in store for Thryve in 2020

Keeping The Balancing Act theme in mind this year, we want to explore how we can find balance in each element of our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well-being. We will tap into the realities of our daily lives, and examine all aspects including

Balancing Relationships, Balancing Finances, Balancing Nutrition + Movement, Balancing Women’s Health, Balancing Career + Life

Through quarterly Thryve Events + panel-led talks, Thryve Retreats + Circles, a NEW online seasonal Membership, and access to informative resources from female health and wellness experts, we will tap into how we can integrate and redefine balance as modern women in motherhood.

While we don’t expect we will find a solution for creating a perfectly ‘balanced life’, we will aspire to open ourselves up to new ways. We can include more balance in aspects of our lives which will, in turn, allow us to be more at peace with ourselves and this crazy, yet incredibly rewarding motherhood journey.

I hope you come along and join me in discovering new ways to create harmony in your life — because we are all in this Balancing Act together.

xo

Casey, Founder of Thryve

Learn more

Sources:

The Joy of Missing Out by Tanya Dalton