Thryve Founder’s Motherhood Journey: Part I
My Motherhood Journey
sharing my path to creating thryve
The beginning of my motherhood journey
My journey through motherhood is constant and ever-changing. I became a mother five years ago when I gave birth to my son. I never imagined this journey would bring such profound experiences, providing me opportunities to learn and grow as a woman.
I have always struggled with anxiety. I have a ‘Type A’ personality, a perfectionist and someone who likes to be in control. The uncontrollable situations that constantly occur with raising children have been a huge struggle for me.
Before having children, I was able to be in more control of my life; after all, it was only my husband and me.
Now, with two small children, I have needed to learn how to adapt to a whole new life, and let go of the expectations of how to keep everything in order, have a perfectly clean home, and know exactly how my children feel.
Our children are their own selves, they have their own ways and as I continue to constantly be reminded, the more I try to control the situation, the harder it is for everyone.
I have also learned that I need to be a role model for my children. They are looking up to me as their constant nurturer and guide through their lives. When I become rigid and controlled, I notice they pick up on this and either act out in some way or distance themselves from me.
One of my biggest goals through my journey is to work on allowing more flow energy in and reduce my incessant need to control. I need to learn that it’s really ok that the house is messy, the kitchen isn’t in ‘perfect’ condition, we run late for an appointment. Life will go on and everyone will be ok as long as we are happy and secure with ourselves.
Motherhood is teaching me to let go of worrying about the smaller things and to experience a new perspective on how to do things. While it’s not easy and I'm still in constant battles with myself to let go a little more and become more flexible, it has lessened my overall anxiety that not everything needs to be perfect. It has allowed me to open up to others’ support and opinions in both my family life and career.
“Motherhood is teaching me to let go of worrying about the smaller things and to experience a new perspective on how to do things. ”
As a mother, I am learning how to let go, become more present in the moment, and it has also brought me incredible perspective on life in general. I have built more confidence on how to face situations I likely would not have wanted to face before I became a mother. I have a new perspective in my relationships, my career and now being a “working mom”, managing the household, and try to (most of the time) let go of my perfectionism and allow the little moments in life to be nurtured and fostered.
My self-care journey once becoming a mother
Over the years, I've found my own ways to live a more calm and balanced life. I've always had an interest in wellness, well-being and self-care, specifically through fitness, yoga, clean eating, holistic treatments, counselling, and meditation. For me, reducing anxiety has been a self-discovery journey and continues to be as life evolves.
When our son was born, we decided to hire a postpartum doula for the first two months to help with supporting this brand new journey we were now on.
Although we had our family close-by, I wasn't comfortable with expressing my needs or knowing what I needed for that matter. I also didn't know when to ask for help or would realize after the fact, that I probably could have asked for some more help at times because I didn't need to do it all on my own.
It was a real adjustment at times, trying to figure out how to continue to manage my anxiety as new stresses or triggers would come up and the tools that used to work weren't always readily available.
Finding time for self care the way I was used to before having children, like going to a spin or yoga class or acupuncture treatment, became much more challenging. Not only did I not want to leave my newborn son, but the routines I established for both him and I would become affected.
I wanted to do the whole 'motherhood' thing on my own and be the one in full control at all times. My stress level began to increase from just trying to coordinate how I could leave for 1-2 hours which defeated the purpose for me to reduce my anxiety.
I am very career driven and need to have a space for this. I worked within our family business with my husband and parents. With the business growing and needing a full commitment, we decided that for us, having a nanny and household support was the best choice while both kids were young.
Knowing that I have someone I can trust to nurture my children when needed and that the household chores and meal preparation are taken care of, my anxiety and feeling of overwhelm subsides. I then know I can take time for myself, my business, my fitness and health appointments or whatever I feel I need that day. I know that for me, I can be my best self when I have this support and I am a better mother for this.
I am incredibly grateful to have a support system for my family and me. The support was always there, through the birth of both of my children and as they continue to grow. This is not something I take for granted as I know that not all women have family close by or a support system they can rely on to help with the basic necessities, let alone taking care of themselves more often.
I hope to share more of my motherhood experiences and journey with all of our readers as we continue to grow. Stay tuned…